Flight Of The Conchords – Frodo, Don't Wear The Ring lyrics

Frodo, don't wear the ring
I know it's very tempting
Yes, you will appear to disappear
But the dark riders, they'll know you're there
Yes, lord Sauron has many spies (many spies have many eyes)

One ring to bind them, to find them, one ring to rule them all
One ring to bind them, one to find them, one ring to rule them all!
Yeah, little Frodo!
You've got to rule them!
Frodo, rule them with the ring!
Come on, rule them with your ring, yeah!

"Lord Sauron has many spies, and beasts, and birds"
"If you want him, come and claim him!"
"Do they, Gandalf?"
"I'm not a conjurer of cheap tricks!"
"I can't carry the ring, but I can carry you, Mr. Frodo"
"You have my sword"
"And my bow"
"And my axe"
*Speaks elfish*

"Mordor!"
"We'll never make it! There's thousands of them and only nine of us!"
"Ohhhh..."
"We made it!"
"Hooray! We made it!"

Hey Frodo, what you doing wearing the ring?
All powerful jewellery, is that your new thing?
I know it's hard when you're little more than 3 foot 4
Your little ass so close to the floor
Trying to lead your fellows to the gates of Mordor
The fellowship
Yeah, the fellowship
I don't rap about bitches and hoes, I rap about witches and trolls
Just passing on the words of the Elven king,
Wisdom to all
Frodo! Don't wear the ring!

Frodo, don't wear the ring!
The magical bling bling
You'll never be the Lord of the Rings