Frank Zappa — Broken Hearts Are For Assholes lyrics

Hey now, hey

Hey, do you know what you are?
You’re an a*****e
A*****e

Some of you might not agree ‘cause you probably likes a lot of misery
But think a while and you will see...
Broken hearts are for assholes
Broken hearts are for assholes (Are you an a*****e?)
Broken hearts are for assholes (Are you an a*****e too?)
Whatcha gonna do ‘cause you're an a*****e?

No, no, no
Yeah, yeah, yeah
I said, “You are an asshole”

Maybe you think you're a lonely guy
And maybe you think you're too tough to cry
So you went to the grape, just to give it a try
And Dagmar (Without a doubt, the ugliest sonofabitch I ever saw in my life) was his name
(One two three four)
The whiskers sticking out from underneath of his pancake make-up (And yet, he was a beautiful lady) nearly drove you insane
(Lets talk about leather)
And so you kissed a little sailor (Tex Abel, starring in the latest Shepperton production) who had just blew in from Spain
(Sir Richard Pump-a-loaf)
You sniffed the reeking buns of angel (The story of a demented bread-boffer) and acted like it was cocaine
(Cucumber pud annexed to a fine whole-wheat loaf)
You were dazzled by the exciting new costume of ko-ko (Then on Tuesday night, Ceasar’s back in town) in a way you can't explain
(Facing off in a no-holds-barred tag team grudge match with Kona)
And so you worked the wall with Michael (Three-hundred-seventy-nine pounds of Samoan dynamite)
Which gave your back an awful strain (Volcanic hell)
But you came back on sunday for the gong shows (Next Thursday, Teen Towns finest??????????) but you forgot what I was sayin’
’Cause you're an a*****e, you're an a*****e
That's right
Youre an a*****e, you're an a*****e
Yes, yes
Youre an a*****e, you're an a*****e
That's right
Youre an a*****e, you're an a*****e

Well, now you been to the grape, you been to the chest
Now I think you know what you are
You're an a*****e

You say you can't live with what you been through
Well, ladies you can be an a*****e too
You might pretend you aint got one on the bottom of you
But don't fool yourself girl, it’s lookin’ at you
Don't fool yourself girl, it’s winkin’ at you
Don't fool yourself girl, it’s blinkin’ at you
That's why I say, “I’m gonna ram it, ram it, ram it ram it up your poop chute” (Corn hole)
Ram it, ram it, ram it, ram it up your poop chute (Fist fuck)
Ram it, ram it, ram it, ram it up your poop chute (Wrist-watch; Crisco)
Ram it, ram it, ram it, ram it up your poop chute (Pud)
Don't fool yourself girl, it’s goin’ right up your poop chute
Don't fool yourself girl, it’s goin’ right up your poop chute
Don't fool yourself girl, it’s goin’ right up your poop chute
Don't pull yourself girl, it’s goin’ right up your poop chute
Don't pull yourself girl, it’s goin’ right up your poop chute
Don't pull yourself girl, it’s goin’ right up your poop chute
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsty.com/frank-zappa-broken-hearts-are-for-assholes-lyrics.html ]