Horrible Histories – Spartan High School Musical lyrics

Today I'm starting High School
Where boys are turned to men
I packed my sword and shield
We don't use paper and pen
Everyone's a jock here
We don't have Spartan nerds
The weedy kids were left to die
As breakfast for the birds

We're taught to love a fight
We're taught not to be meek
And if we're good they feed us
Three square meals every week

Let's go fighting now
Fighting is exciting now
Rocking at the Spartan School

A Spartan kindergarten
I'm the boss that's understood
I smack them if they're naughty
And I thwack them if they're good
I'm feeling rather peckish
I'm gonna steal some food
Caught! I'll have to punish you
Ungrateful Spartan brood

We promise not to steal
We're not the thieving sort
Stealing is considered good
What's bad is getting caught

Let's get beating now
Learn lies and cheating now
Rolling at the Spartan School

We have a bunch of contests
To see who is the best
The leanest, meanest,
Roughest, toughest Spartan contest
This one is my favourite game
Lashings of good fun
Didn't feel a thing
I want my mum

We passed our last exam
And it's Spartan graduation
Straight away we go to work
No time for celebration
Ten years active service
In the army
No diversion
There's only one job for a Spartan
Killing lot's of Persians!

Wondering about love?
It's banned until you're thirty
High School doesn't teach romance
It teaches fighting dirty

Let's go fighting now
Fighting is exciting now
Rocking at the Spartan School

Let's get beating now
Learn lies and cheating now
Rolling at the Spartan School!