Kinky Friedman – Waitret, Please, Waitret lyrics

Well, I pulled into dallat on a cold december day
Bought coffee and a doughnut at the greasy spoon cafe,
Spied me a pretty young waitret standing by her tray,
But she couldn't believe her sweet young ears when the waitret heard me say:

Oh, waitret, please, waitret, come sit down on my fate,
Eatin' ain't cheatin', lord it ain't no disgrace.
Oh, bring me a lone star, make it a case
And waitret, please, waitret, come sit down on my fate.

Well, I walked up to the jukebox feeling kind of mean,
The waitret said, hey, stupid, that's a cigarette machine!
Well, look-a here, young waitret, would you care to make a bet,
And if that there ain't a jukebox, you can smoke my cigarette!

Oh, waitret, please, waitret, come sit down on my fate,
Eatin' ain't cheatin', lord it ain't no disgrace.
Oh, bring me a lone star, make it a case
And waitret, please, waitret, come sit down on my fate.

You're the prettiest thing in dallat, is dallat your home?
No, I come all the way from houton and I feel so all alone.
I used to live in autin then I come up to big d
In hopes to get my big break on national tv.

Honey, I think I have what it takes to make you a star but first...

Oh, waitret, please, waitret, come sit down on my fate,
Eatin' ain't cheatin', lord it ain't no disgrace.
Oh, bring me a lone star, make it a case
And waitret, please, waitret, come sit down on my fate.