A Life Once Lost — Grotesque lyrics

These words collapse your confidence
Your destructive existence is nauseating
Fake, with no self esteem; you're nothing
You change with manic uncertainty
Now I will be the master
Now I will choose my boatswain
I push myself in and out of relationships
But I don't know you
I push myself in and out of control
But I don't own you
Exactly how should I stand here, waiting for you to finally answer
As you verbally bash me