Ray William Johnson – My Balls lyrics

Girl, I know you left me,
But there was something I forgot to show you.

Baby girl, you left me. Oh no! We broke up.
It's been a while since we last spoke, but
I need another chance. Can you give me that?
'Cause there's something in my pants that'll win you back.

I wanna be your man again,
But you left me like I'm Jennifer Aniston.
And I know you said you'd never call,
But girl, you ain't seen my balls.

You-you-you-you ain't seen my balls.
(Repeat)

My balls are so awesome. Don't get me started.
They're so damn big. How big are they?
They're so big. It's really obnoxious.
It's like two ewoks chillin' in my boxers.
They're so big. I can't hold 'em back.
Even Cartman's like, man those are fat.
They're so big. They're run over your feet.
That's why when they back up you hear a Beep Beep.

And how can I be subtle,
When my balls chase Indiana Jones through a tunnel?
And everyone at Disney World keeps telling me
That Epcot Center looks at 'em with jealousy.
In fact, when you see 'em on the street they'll
Fight Godzilla to the death in the sequel.
I'm guessing soon you'll be hoping I'm back,
'Cause my balls are so big they've got an opening act.

You-you-you-you ain't seen my balls.
(Repeat)

My balls are so epic, and I ain't boastin',
But they have an effect on the tides in the ocean.
And when the sun's right, it might cause
A total solar eclipse of my balls.
'Cause these things are where it's happenin',
And when I whip 'em out you'll take me back again.
Should I compare 'em to a brontosaurus?
No, excuse me I'm on the chorus.

I got what you need.
And you'd said you'd never call,
But girl you ain't seen these balls.

I wanna be your man again,
But you left me like I'm Jennifer Aniston.
And I know you said you'd never call,
But girl, you ain't seen my balls.

You-you-you-you ain't seen my balls.
(Repeat)

I told you you'd be back.
You must've forgot.
You must've had Ballzheimer's.