Half Man Half Biscuit – Harsh Times In Umberstone Covert lyrics

[Verse 1]
Geraldine, Geraldine, it’s just a selling plate; nobody cares
Don’t be so self-conscious, what became of the carefree you?
The one who would whistle to Throbbing Gristle through
Harsh times in Umberstone Covert.
Scoffing at the notion of a shoulder to cry on, the very thought of a rock to rely on
Astonishing therefore to look at you now, bitter at the gall, reaching for the mainland.

[Chorus]
I will mend you, and I will tend to you
Take it as read with a needle and thread
When you’re falling apart at the seams I will make that stich in time.

[Verse 2]
C-c-c-cavalcades, accolades, giddy escapades, do you recall
Cheap mischief most Tuesday’s – Emma Rollahead avoids you still
Sour faced she picked out the gherkins, saw Christ in Dorothy Perkins
Oh Geraldine, we were so laissez-faire, every other day was a non-sequitur.
Hadron Collider, who’s there? Knock knock

[Chorus]
I’ll repair you, be right there for you
At the end of the bed, reupholstering your head
When events are unfolding inside I’m on hand to cast your mind.

[Outro]
Geraldine, Geraldine, Geraldine
Geraldine, Geraldine, Geraldine
Your problems – I’ll treat them as mine
Tomorrow morning everything will be fine
Jean Greenhowe shall grant us a pardon
We’ll eat Battenberg and stare at the garden
Geraldine, Geraldine, Geraldine
Geraldine, Geraldine, oh Geraldine
Geraldine, oh Geraldine.